Attending as a skill when talking: Three components of talking are easily understood and produce better business talks. Attending while talking means focusing, looking, and paying attention. Attending usually requires physical presence and eye contact. It definitely requires both physical and psychological focusing!

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Attending Skills

Attending as a Skill when Talking

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Paying attention to someone in a conversation is called "attending." It means that your ears, your eyes, your body and your feelings are all focused on that person at one time when you are talking. Attending is a very important part of all conversations and any relationship, including those at work. It includes:

Physical Presence

Relationships are a building process. Your coworker, boss, and customers (and you) gradually share interests, feelings, and goals. Usually this sharing is done in great part through talking.

That often requires being together physically. Also, your physical presence shows the other person that you care about them. It affirms that he/she is important to you.

Focusing

Focusing means all of your physical and psychological attention is directed toward the other person during the entire conversation. Your body language is good. You are open and relaxed. You are squarely facing and slightly inclined toward your friend. Your facial expressions convey interest and comprehension.

Keep the focus on the other person. Relating similar personal experiences or offering solutions to problems takes focus away from the other person and places it on you. Even though you may feel you are offering empathy or sympathy in this manner, it sometimes seems that you can turn any conversation around to you.

Looking

Remember to look with your eyes.

A classic example of looking with "your eyes" comes from children. Imagine your son comes to the office with you. He is coloring or drawing while you finish some work. The child finishes a picture quickly and repeatedly says, "Look at this one, Dad."

You mumble, 'Good, Patrick" or "That's great," while continuing to concentrate on your papers..

Finally the child says, "Look now, Dad. Look with your eyes."

Looking at another person shows that you are "there for him/her" during talks. It usually requires eye contact.

"About Communications" Listening
Acknowledgment Attending

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